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Shine On, You Crazy Devlin/Transcript
Abridged Episode #22 Watch ← Previous Episode Next Episode → The one where Duke Devlin appears Cast (In order of appearance): Yugi , Téa , Grandpa Date: June 18, 2007 Running Time: 7:16 Episode Title: Shine On, You Crazy Devlin Transcript NARRATOR: Warning - This episode contains copious amounts of Duke Devlin. Women with heart conditions are advised not to look directly at Duke Devlin. This also applies to women without heart conditions. He's very pretty - see? See how pretty he is? He's very pretty! I'd like to run my fingers through his hair; and I'm just a voice! Anyway, without furthur ado enjoy your crappy animé cartoon. Intro YUGI: I'm going to school now, Gramps. If this porch isn't cleaned by the time I get back I'll tell my parents you've been abusing me. TÉA: (Cuts in) Hey, Yugi! YUGI: Slut! I mean, Téa! TÉA: What's wrong with your grandpa? Is he dying? Tell me he's dying... He leans over to her YUGI: You know, Téa, we could kill him right now and no body would have to know about it. TÉA: Really? GRANDPA: *''Pops up''* Hello! I'm down here now! And I'm very angry for reasons I am about to explain! *''Points''* Ta da! That new game shop is stealing all my customers. TÉA: You have customers? YUGI: Wow! I super-special-awesome-new-gameshop! I believe that there is a slight possibility that I may be interested in checking it ou- GRANDPA: (Interupts) Do it and you die! At school RANDOM-OFFSCEEN-TEACHER-LIKE VOICE: (Sternly) If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding! JOEY: How come we never do any school work anyway? YUGI: It makes you wonder why we even bother coming here. TÉA: Hey did you guys hear about that new student? They said he's the sexiest thing since sex. JOEY: Nyeeh, sex isn't that sexy. TRISTAN: Joey, what's sex? JOEY: Well, Tristan, when a man and a woman love each other very much- TÉA: (Cuts in) Joey, no! We musn't let Tristan breed! JOEY: Nyeeeeh! Thanks, Téa! That was a close one! Justin Timberlake's 'Sexy Back' plays in background and everytime Duke Devlin is on screen JOEY: Hey - where's that music coming from? DUKE DEVLIN: Keep your eyes on me, ladies! Cheap parlour tricks are extremely erotic, oh yarh! FANGIRL 1: Oh he's so smexy! His cup is so big! TRISTAN: It's magic! He must be a witch! Duke Devlin approaches gang DUKE DEVLIN: I couldn't help but notice you guys aren't drooling over me as if I'm some sort of sex object. TÉA: Huminahuminahumina- DUKE DEVLIN: I'm Duke Devlin. I own the new game shop. TÉA: You can own my body too if you want. TRISTAN: (Off screen) Burn the witch! DUKE DEVLIN: You must be Yugi. My fangirls have told me all about you! They say you're almost as pretty as me! JOEY: *''Slides on screen''* Hey dice-boy, wha'd they say about me? Point Point DUKE DEVLIN: They say you're a loser with a fetish for dressing up like animals. JOEY: I am not a loser! And I'll prove it by challenging you to a children's card game. DUKE DEVLIN: I accept! But if I win then you have to be my slave. TÉA: Lucky bastard. JOEY: And if I win they you have to close yer game shop. YUGI: Joey- Don't you think that's a little extreme? You can't put somebody out of business just because you're jealous. JOEY: I'm not jealous! What does he have that I don't have? Aside from the fangirls, and the pretty hair and those gorgeous green eyes? DUKE DEVLIN: *''Twizzles hair''* Don't forget my sweet ass. JOEY: Yeah, and a sweet ass. But other than that he's got nuthin'! TÉA: Bom Chicka Wah Waa TRISTAN: (Off screen) Burn the witch! Outside Game shop JOEY: Here we are at the game shop. Once I win this card game Duke Devlin will be outta the job and he'll be forced to live on the streets! *''laughs''* Meeerera! TÉA: What a heroic thing to do! TRISTAN: Clearly he is a role model for children everywhere! Inside Game shop DUKE DEVLIN: Welcome to the Duke Devlin love-nasium! I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of inviting my fangirls to watch our duel. FANGIRLS: Oh Dukey you're so fine, You're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Dukey! Clap clap Hey Dukey! *''Continues in background''* TÉA: It's true what they say- fangirls ruin everything. TRISTAN: Burn the witch! YUGI: (Thinking) Isn't anyone gonna notice that I'm not wearing my school uniform? DUKE DEVLIN: I summon the extremely phallic space ship. But since it belongs to me it grows to twice its usual size. Duke Devlin always rises to the occasion, baby! Gradius - totally attack his lifepoints! JOEY: Nyeeeeh! FANGIRLS: Joey Wheeler lost the bet! Duke Devlin makes our panties wet! DUKE DEVLIN: Since you lost you have to do whatever I want. FANGIRL: *''Hands Joey a dog costume''* Put it on. JOEY: This is slightly more humiliating than playing a children's card game. YAMI: Duke Devlin you've gone too far! How dare you force Joey to uphold his end of the bargain. I challenge you to a game! And if I win then Joey is no longer your slave! DUKE DEVLIN: Fine by me. But if you lose then you must swear on the life of your grandfather than you'll never play card games ever again. YAMI: Big deal! He'll be dead by the end of the month. DUKE DEVLIN: We'll play Dungeon Dice Monsters- a game of my own creation. *''Demonstrates''* We each take it in turn to draw a dice. YAMI: So it's just like Duel Monsters. DUKE DEVLIN: Then we use our dice to summon holographic monsters to the field. YAMI: So it's just like Duel Monsters. DUKE DEVLIN: Both opponents are given three heart points and when they run out the game is- YAMI: So it's just like Duel Monsters. DUKE DEVLIN: Hey stop it! My game is nothing like Duel Monsters. YAMI: Prove it then! Silence DUKE DEVLIN: ...My game uses dice. TRISTAN: (Off screen) Burn the witch! Outside GRANDPA: As per usual I have no idea where I am! I wonder what is going on over there. *''Slides out of crowd''* Hmm? Whoa Nelly! (Watching Devlin's fangirls on a big screen cheerleading) Yes, yes! Work it, baby! Grandpa likes it like that! Shake it like a polaroid picture! Inside game shop JOEY: Come on, Yug'! You can do it! FANGIRL 1: Shut up or we'll have you spayed! FANGIRL 3: (Manly voice) That's right. DUKE DEVLIN: I've waited a long time for this moment, Yugi. I'm going to prove to the world that you're a cheater by beating you in a game of my own creation. YAMI: You wanna run that by me one more time? DUKE DEVLIN: There is, like, no way you could have beaten Pegasus without cheating. He was my idol! I've tried my whole life to be just as masculine as he is! YAMI: That would explain a lot. Flashback DUKE DEVLIN: (voiceover) I visited him before the Duelist Kingdom Tournament to demonstrate my game. He was totally awesome! It was like he'd played Dungeon Dice Monsters his whole life! YAMI: (voiceover) That's probably because he had. Your game is exactly like Duel Monsters. PEGASUS: Congratulations, Dukey-boy. This is just what I've been looking for! Dungeon Dice Monsters will make my card game look exciting by comparison. I'll begin funding you immediatly. End flashback DUKE DEVLIN: Dungeon Dice Monsters was set to take the world by storm. But then you defeated Pegasus in a children's card game and he dropped off the face of the Earth. You must have cheated! It's the only explanation! YAMI: Or maybe Pegasus just realised your game sucks arse. Go- Dark Magician Destroy his life! I mean...heart points. Magical Trevor 2 music plays "Heeee’s back and he’s got a new trick! Magical Trevor is ten times as slick as the last time... the last time we saw him! Now you can see why we really adore him. TÉA: Yugi won! His grandpa would be so proud! Outside GRANDPA: Hey! Go back to the dancing girls! Inside game shop YUGI: Man, Duke! I can't believe you actually thought that crappily-little-dice game would sell! JOEY: Yea, it was just a carbon copy of Duel Monsters! You'd have to be as blind as my sister to not notice the similarities! TRISTAN: *''Hold up dice''* This is going straight up my nose! GRANDPA: I'm not even sure how I got here. TÉA: Duke, did I ever mention that my nipples can supply power to a third world country? DUKE DEVLIN: I owe you guys an apolgy. I treated you all like crap. Do you think we can still be friends in season 2? YUGI: Only if you stop using that annoying theme music. DUKE DEVLIN: What theme music? End. Lolly's "Mickey" plays while the logo then the words can you have any puddin when you don't eat your meat...?appear Stinger: Kaiba laughs Mandark style TRISTAN: He must be a witch- he turned me into a newt! *Duke Devlin stares* ...I got better. //Transcripted by Maz - 2 hours I'll never see again. Totally worth it....In America//